


Burdened Souls

by letsgooutintherain



Series: Of Bonded Souls [3]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Soulbond AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 18:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4490910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letsgooutintherain/pseuds/letsgooutintherain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Meas died and the bond snapped it nearly broke Roy.<br/>Two weeks later Edward Elric flounced into his office and turned the world on its head. Of all people he might have thought to be compatible to, it had to be Ed. </p><p>'Unbonded Souls' in Roy's point of view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burdened Souls

When Roy met Maes Hughes he wasn't surprised that they could forge a bond. They were like pieces of a puzzle and at the same time so very alike. They balanced each other where balance was needed. They tended to go on the nerves of everyone around them including each others. They pushed each other to new heights.

Over the years it became the base for a friendship, stronger than any Roy had ever known. It let him survive the war and its aftermath. It let him go on when all he wanted was let himself fall apart.

When one late night in the office the phone rang, Roy already was on edge. Growing anxiousness had seeped into the bond. He didn't even have time to answer before the connection flared up in fear and regret before snapping, leaving Roy alone with himself for the first time in years. 

He remembered the hollow feeling, the numb fingers with which he picked up the phone and listened to the operator telling him that Maes was calling from an outside line. He remembered the deafening silence when the call was put through. 

It nearly broke him. 

Two weeks later Edward Elric flounced into his office and turned the world on its head. Of all people he might have thought to be compatible to, it had to be Ed. They couldn't be more different. They didn't fit. Ed was 15. Ed was a brat. Ed was one of the bravest and kindest persons Roy had ever known.

But the loss of Maes was fresh in his mind and the idea of replacing him hit a little too close to home. It was better that way. Not only for him, but for Ed. The last thing the boy needed in his life was to be chained to a soul as burdened as Roy's. 

When Roy finally managed to get his features under control, to slip back into the persona of the aloof superior, he could find nothing but relief on Ed's face. He would find someone worthy to bond with. Someone who wouldn't taint his gold with darkness.

***

As the years went on Roy found it more and more difficult to dismiss the potential between them. Ed's determinism was like a fire, setting everyone around him alight. His cockiness pushed Roy when no one else dared to anymore.

In a world of masks and mirrors Ed was refreshingly blunt.

And Roy started to dread their meetings because Ed would find someone worthy and as much as Roy hoped for him, he couldn't stand the idea of someone, anyone, having that privilege. Of course there was still the chance that Ed would not accept a bond while his brother couldn't do the same. If that was the case then there was nothing to dread. 

So when Ed strode into the office one day, a boy in softer gold tones in tow and grinning like there was no tomorrow, Roy felt torn between happiness and fear. For the sake of the brothers he pushed his fear aside. This was their day. They had succeeded in their impossible task and Roy would be as happy for them as they deserved.

Ed glowed like the sun that night, burning even brighter now that the guilt had left him. Once again Roy set his resolve. Ed deserved better than him. He had a bright future before him, free of the military, free of any burdens. Roy wouldn't hold him back.

***

Ed stayed. Ed stayed and Roy couldn't help but be grateful for it. He didn't know how, but somehow Ed had managed to become irreplaceable in Roy's life. He had made himself Roy's left hand where Riza was his right. He challenged Roy. He smiled at him as if he trusted him.

He never mentioned their possible bond. 

Ed most likely had his own reasons for not wanting it. The thought hurt and Roy hated that it did because it shouldn't. Ed wasn't Roy's to claim, even if it were moments like these in which Roy realized that this had gone further than just Ed being his left hand. 

If he was honest it even went beyond friendship and Roy didn't know what to do with that. All he knew was that he wanted that bond, but that he loved Ed too much to try and claim him.

***

They were running. They were running as fast as they could but it was too late to outrun them, injured as they were, and too far to the base no matter what plan they came up with. How could it have gone so wrong?

Ed's words echoed through his head, 'This is a fucking terrible place to die.'

In the silence of his head Roy had to agree. And even if he hadn't said it he knew that the chances of them dying here were high. He would die and he would never know what it would be like to feel Ed's soul touch his own. And he knew he shouldn't, but he wished, oh how he wished to have that. 

The small cliff came out of nowhere and with a clap and a shout for Roy to keep his balance the earth beneath their feet shot upwards and with it the two of them. Then they were over the edge, gaining a few precious seconds of time against their pursuers. 

They didn't have time, but Roy's legs gave out under him and when he looked up he could see Ed bent forward, hands on his knees trying to catch his breath. They would have to run again soon. Or they would have to fight. Neither option had a high probability of getting them out alive. 

And if they didn't make it Roy would never have told Ed how gorgeous he was, how kind and passionate and radiant. 

He knew what Maes would have said: That he was an idiot for not doing it sooner. That it was Ed's decision to take or refuse the offer of a bond. That Ed would be lucky to have someone like Roy. 

He didn't believe that, but even though he couldn't help himself. He wanted this. And he could no longer find the strength to keep himself from Ed. 

When Ed held out his hand, Roy reached for him, hand and soul, laying all of his self on the line. 

Ed jerked back as if burned. And just like that Roy could feel his world crumble.

Ed's angry words drifted to him as if through a haze: "Oh no, don't you dare." Ed caught his hand again, his grip firm and strong. "Don't you dare back out. I didn't wait for fucking ever for you to change your mind now."

Roy tried to understand and at the same time wanted so desperately to kit together what he had broken between them, but he couldn't find the words. He, the master of the words was speechless. 

"Fullmetal, Ed, you..."

Ed reached for him, soul flaring up in a firework. Roy's reaction was instinctive as he answered the call to his soul.

He remembered this sensation, this floating feeling of lightness, but at the same time this was nothing like his bond with Maes. Ed was bright and golden, firm and strong and compassionate. Living breathing determinism. But there was guilt and pain and the smell of blood in between that, even now after he had restored his brother. Of course there would be. Ed had always shouldered the burden of everything. 

Ed's feelings were a mix of worry and joy and love, so much love. How could he have missed that?

He didn't even realise he had reached out for Ed, with his hand this time, until Ed pressed closer.

And then Ed's lips were on his and the questions didn't matter anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> All mistakes are my own.


End file.
